Pendulum

It’s hard being away. Constantly surrounded by familiar faces that are only as recognisable as the last workday. I see these figures shrouded from natural lights. Confined to the dark and damp soil of the floor. Trusting the canopy above gathers enough food to feed everyone.

"I think about growing up. Privileged, not just in the sense that we had money. Most of my friends did - and still do. But its more than that."

It’s a strange thinking of home. You have this idea in your head “I can live anywhere”, “I’m adventurous” “I have to do this”. And that may be true. Just. I walk around with these assumptions (A trait I continually work to remedy and find balance with).

I always knew that I would miss home. I’ve only truly ever been homesick once before, thinking back I may have been 12/13 years old. An age where you know of independence, but have only just begun to experience it. Even now I might have only been hungry or just plain bored but all the same, the memory of this time & space is encrypted in my mind. How-ever unpleasant that feeling way down there still is, it is who I am, who I was and who I will be. I have to look back to see that that memory, nonetheless distressing, is entirely significant.

I question; Why that? Why there? And why still?

I’m sitting here wondering why? Is it alright if I come only bearing questions?

-Short answer: YES

I think about growing up. Privileged, not just in the sense that we had money. Most of my friends did - and still do. But its more than that. We swam, we hunted, we surfed, skied, fished, drunk fresh water from the tap and ate straight from the veggie patch.

We took liberty wherever we could find it, whenever at arm’s reach.

"What we can accomplish in the present will ripple through the collective ideology & subconscious for generations to come."

I sit here in Tahoe, US. 7500 feet above sea level, looking down on some of the cleanest, clearest and bluest water from any lake in the world.

I’m in a bubble.

We’re in a bubble.

The whole world…

Or are we…?

We don’t need to go far to see we're not. The illusion is that we think we are. To quote the French literary figure ‘Charles Baudelaire’ “The devils best trick is to persuade you that he does not exist”. All around I hear “He’s ok” “That’s the way it’s always been” “We’re doing great compared to…” (All dangerous notions)

We are oblivious to change. We rely on others to verify our experience. We are only human don’t forget. That’s why our memories are so important!

The constant battle between good and evil rages on. Always present. But as a creation of God, we forget the Devil exists, even when he stands right there in front of you.

The bastard looks the same, speaks the same, just like you and me, but every now and then he reveals his true colours. We cannot get accustomed to this. If you look around we already have. Be present. Question and remember.

We are all heading to a place in our lives when must decide. I see so much potential & success in us all. The more I think about being home with you all & enjoying time together, it fills me with Pride & Sadness, with Joy & Pain.

I initially wrote two phrases before I started writing…

Absent in Body

Present in Mind & Spirit

Although I may not be with you know in the body, I know you are all the best advocates for humanity I know. The connection that we have created will embody the future we all look to manifest. What we can accomplish in the present will ripple through the collective ideology & subconscious for generations to come. The future is on our side.

The pendulum will swing back and the balance will be found.